My Childhood: How Gender is Communicated (Blog Post #1)

The earliest I can remember was when I was four years old just before my baby brother was born in February. I can remember that night  when he was born just like it was just recent even though I am now 20. It was the middle of the night and my parents woke me and my other younger brother up and I didn't know exactly what was going on, but it was a big scramble and all I knew was that I ended up at my grandparents house when I woke up the next morning.

Before my youngest brother Chris was born my dad took me to hockey games. Now this was a really long time ago even before the Avalanche landed in Denver, we attended games of the Denver Grizzlies a minor league hockey team that played at the McNichols Arena in downtown Denver. The games were just simply awesome for me I loved the game, I loved the hard hitting, and fights. When I was young the aspects of the game sparked the interest I still have today, I love sports  and it had all started when I went to the Grizzle games with my dad.
Looking back now it's not only the game I appreciate, but the greater picture I can only admire now that I am 20 and more mature. The time that I spent with my dad watching hockey quite frankly didn't mean anything, but it was something else that meant everything to me as a little kid and as a twenty year old today.
When I was with my dad watching hockey games as a four year kid and before he became more occupied with my newborn brother I learned a lot about my gender and my overall role as a male in society. When we went to these games we left behind my mother and my other younger brother Derrick and even though we had a blast watching hockey my dad always used to express the importance of family values and what it means to be the "man of the house." The games acted more so as a way to spend quality one on one time father and son.
The lessons I learned from my dad were that your family is the most important part of your life and no matter how many friends you have and no matter how much importance you give your friends, it is your family who is always there through the thick and thin while friends will come and go.  By making this point to me at an early age my  dad made another point to me as well, the point of the male is truly the head of the house.
Since we were away from the family at these games my dad always used to tell me when he was away like we were I was the man of the house so if he was not able to take these duties it would be turned over to me. I always felt a great deal of pride when he told me this and even at the time in which he told me this it didn't necessarily apply I felt like it was a great calling whenever the situation would arise. Thinking about that meant a great deal because even though my mom was always present in my life and was an elder and a figure that I have always trusted and had an obligation to listen to it was me who would take charge in a sense when he was away.
This really came true when my dad was deployed in Iraq and while he was away he told me every night he was able to call our family to make sure my mom and my brothers were doing alright and to keep them safe. By giving me this great duty my dad gave me the image of what being a man is all about. Being a man through my eyes means leadership, responsibility, and above all dedication. My role as a male as it was communicated to me by my dad is just by being a male you're getting yourself into a commitment, a signed contract in a sense. If I want to have a full filling life it is my duty to take care of my family present and future that's what being a male is all about.
This message that I was taught when I was four years old is still very much alive to me today with what is going on right now in my life. This point in my life where I am right now is definitely one of the hardest I have experienced. My parents with whom I still live with while I am attending college are separated, and for the first time in my life I don't have both of my parents together like it has always been. Through this experience there has been a lot of ups and downs emotionally and to say the least this situation is just flat out terrible. As my parents face their issues it doesn't feel any more like either of them is there anymore to parent my brothers and I like they should or at least as their child that's how it feels. My brothers still in high school one getting ready to graduate and the other just in his sophomore year they have shown their frustration through all of this.
During the beginning of my parents time apart from one another my brothers and mom and I had a sit down meeting with a counselor where my mom issued an plan of action of how she wanted the family to move along. At this meeting there was a change of frustration throughout the table between myself, my brothers, and my mom as it seemed like this meeting was going in the wrong direction I took leadership and spilled my heart out in my best attempt to keep my family together. I felt during this meeting like I was the counselor and I was the one keeping everyone sane just because like my father told me long ago, "be the man of the house."
After the meeting the counselor came up to me and told me personally to be strong through all this and to be a leader for my brothers to follow as the oldest child. The same exact lesson I was taught by my father years ago applies still even today and to me being a man isn't all about being tough. It is about being a leader and committing my self to my family that is what being a male means to me and that's how it has been communicated to me as a child and as a young adult.